What's your creative process like?
This post is for my fellow creatives. I’m super curious about your process. I know usually we read a blog and go on with our day, but I really want to start a conversation with this one. So leave a comment here, or on my IG or text me if you have my number ;)
Ok so I’ve been freelancing full-time for ~8 months now and I’m noticing a pattern I go thru. I’ll be super excited about photography, tons of ideas, shooting all the time, staying up til 7am editing pictures, basically loving what I do. So I text my friends all excited (look at this!!), share new work in my Instastory, sometimes I even post a picture or two on my photography page. And then it happens… I hate everything. Nothing is good enough. I see all the technical flaws and things I could have done different. I should have used flash, I should have done this wide instead of portrait, the colors don’t make sense. I literally hate everything about my pictures (except my models & clients, you guys are great!) I swear it’s me, not you.
And then I stop. Shooting. Learning. Brainstorming. Reading. Experimenting. Everything comes to a screeching halt. Then come the thoughts… I’m not about this creative life. I should just get a day job. Who am I kidding. My work is straight trash. Why do clients even hire me. I wouldn’t call it a depression, just a lack of… I don’t even know what to call it honestly.
Can you relate?
Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m being so pessimistic, I just think I’m uninspired and bored. When I first started freelancing full time, these spells would last days and sometimes weeks before I realized what was happening.
And then slowly, I start to pull myself back together. I go from paralyzed to problem solving. I ask myself what I need to do different next time. I pick everything apart, address the (perceived) shortcomings and start rebuilding. And every time this happens, I see my photography jump to a new level. I start shooting again, experimenting, finding inspiration. My confidence comes back, I put myself out there more. I stop feeling like a fraud and get back to loving and enjoying what I do.
Until the next time… And then its wash. rinse. repeat.
This cycle is largely internal, not triggered by anything or anyone outside of my own little bubble. And I’m really curious to understand why this happens… Yes I’m a perfectionist. I’m impatient. I always have to be growing, learning, improving. Setting new goals for myself and achieving them. So maybe that’s why?
This morning, I woke up to a text from my luna sis Melani saying ‘check your IG’. She didn’t know (neither did I) that I was in another burn everything down and start over state of mind. For the past few days maybe even weeks I don’t know how long its been tbh.
So I go on IG and see that my favorite feminist art community (@girlgaze check them out) reposted one of my pictures! Excuse me whattttttttttt!!!
I see it as a nudge from the universe saying keep going sis, you got this. I’m listening to Rihanna while I’m writing this (Talk That Talk was such a good album), and I wonder… if Rihanna has given us like 7 albums already, how much music does she have that we’ll never hear because she didn’t think it was good enough… I wonder that for all my favorite artists (*cough cough* Kanye). My friends too. How many dope ideas have you had that you didn’t pursue or ideas that you put on the shelf because you “don’t have time” or you procrastinated or think you lack resources, or maybe you got bored with and never went back to it. Seriously…. Stop and think about it for a minute. What if you really pushed yourself to pursue just one?
Let’s talk about it.